He thinks it's hilarious.
That's exactly what happened this morning when I was heading to the bathroom for my shower.
"The kids can hear you," I laughed, mortified as he pushed my hand away and swatted my butt repeatedly.
"Tappin' my shoes," he hollered, loud enough for them to hear...
I love when we're in sync with each other, so much so, that we can joke about what we do- even with the kids in earshot. They are, of course, non the wiser, but we don't have to hide when we're playing around in our affection for each other.
When they see a harmonious marriage, the play they witness out in the open is in love, and of no concern to them. They don't know that there is a serious side to it. They just see two people who love each other.
I think this dynamic has the potential to bring us closer like that when we both try to be independently mindful of our roles.
When we can get down to holding our own in the relationship, owning our responsibility to gift the other with our role, it takes away the finger-pointing that sometimes happens over the other not performing perfectly.
I think it's a trap many of us fall into- expecting our Dominant to "make us submissive."
Secretly, we may fantasize about and yearn for that.
Although there are moments when a Dom truly needs to put their foot down, a relationship can't thrive if they're always fighting for their submissive's cooperation.
We need to own our own game, gift our partner wit our want to be their submissive.
Give them the core of ourselves, our desires, by being that without needed force or coercion.
When I remove my expectation for J to "make me behave," it causes him to want to Dom me.
Isn't that really what we want?