Sunday, February 10, 2019

Ebb and Flow

Some people call it seasons, others call it the tide but there comes a time in all things that they become less potent than they once were when they began. The honeymoon period ends. Everyday life takes over. It's a natural occurrence that affects all things.
When a couple embarks upon this journey, this dynamic, it's exciting in the beginning. They enter into a season of renewal as a couple. The attraction they have for each other reawakens, they hold hands more, seek each other out more, live for a purpose in their relationship again. After a time, though- the first year, the second- that honeymoon period ends and the couple finds themselves in a regular cycle again. Sometimes they forget that things are still very different then they were before they embraced this journey because their "new" way of relating has become familiar to them.
J and I have practiced this dynamic nearly three years now. During this time we've had our ups and downs as we've learned to function in a new way together. We've been blessed with how this dynamic has helped our relationship, changed it, and made it blossom. I've been asked what was different. People have mentioned wanting what we have and have noticed the changes in us although they've been unable to identify what exactly changed. The evidence of the fruit this bears is there.
When I miss him I think of this. when I long for the excitement that came with our honeymoon period, when everything was new and exciting, and we had a "secret" I think of this. What was intended has been accomplished. We are a success. To look at who we were years ago and see us today, you couldn't surmise less.
And when I  stop and think about it, I say "Yes, Sir" to him again. I say "may I" when I request something again. I seek out his needs and perform them without being asked. And I see his reaction to me as he notices- a look, a hand on my neck, a grab of my ass as he passes me in the kitchen, an order to kneel.
It is all very much there and potent as it ever was in the beginning. It is comfortably a part of who we are now and I couldn't ask for more. That was the intention when we started, that it would become like this. All it takes is keeping the knowledge alive that it hasn't faded away- during the schedules, during the working hours, during the tired evenings. We may go through seasons of rest but our commitment to each other is ever present. I will be secure in that.



4 comments:

  1. What a lovely reflection on your relationship Jlynne, I love this and love the quote. There is definitely an ebb and flow. Glad you two are in such a great place.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  2. Thank you, Roz!
    We all need perspective on this from time to time, I think.

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  3. Beautiful post, JLynne! Love it! Hugs! Windy

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  4. Love this description of the cycles we go through, Jlynne ... we have just come out the other side of a renewal phase ... and we are still in the sea of ttwd ... nj ... xx

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