Monday, October 8, 2018
A Good Reminder
This past weekend J and I attended a wedding. I love weddings! I find that I always reflect on our relationship when I go to one.
Well during the ceremony the grooms aunt got up and did what I'm sure would be most men's worst nightmare- she took the mic and began telling story after story about him as a little boy- one which included a spanking! Seriously a first for that one!
In spite of the humorous side of the situation- which he took exceptionally well- a lot of what she said really resonated with me and J. She talked about how a man needs respect and honor from his wife. She talked about how the man is the leader in his home- in spite of what the world teaches today. She talked about being careful about what you say to each other because some things can never be taken back. She also talked about how hard marriage can be- something this young couple knows nothing about yet. You have to experience it to know the struggle.
When the struggles come it is important to have a firm foundation and work together, hold steadfast to each other.
Weddings are such good reminders to those of us who are already married. We have become experts by experience and when we look back we know our mistakes and where we could have done better.
I have said so many times that I wish J and I knew about DD (well technically we had heard of it) but that we had been proponents of it back when we were married. It really was eventually the catalyst that taught him how to lead and me to follow him. It could have saved us so much hurt in our marriage.
Until you've been through hell with your partner things like this don't make sense. When you've seen everything that you had crumble and nothing else work to put the pieces back together- you have to dig deeper. When you accept that a man needs respect and honor and trust to lead his family and you believe that this is his duty in the home then you will give that to him by any means necessary- even if it means submitting to discipline to help you learn to respect him. When others see that this tool works and that the couples that use this tool are only trying to bring about good in their relationship- I just don't understand how anyone could fault that?
There is a difference between loving discipline and abuse. There is a difference between male arrogance, and appropriate leadership.
It's hard sometimes to live this lifestyle in a world that constantly seems to be putting men down, emasculating them and reshaping women into a false sense of femininity. But for those of us that have found our way here- it's good to know that some of us understand.
So I'll pass on to you what I took from this wedding- Hold onto that man of yours, honor him, respect him, let him continue to lead you.
Be the woman that he needs you to be so that he can be that man for you. Stand on the rock of your love and faithfulness to each other- the kind of love this world has forgotten.